My reasons for wanting to be healthier (& skinnier) range from super serious to silly:
~I want to be a size 10... I haven't been a size 10 since the 5th Grade I believe.
~If/when I ever get married and want to start a family, I want to have a happy healthy pregnancy.
~I want to RUN!!! I'd like to run 5k races with my Dad.
~I want to feel like a hottie!
~Maybe someday I could wear a bikini for the first time ever! (long shot, but we'll see!)
~I don't want to be squished in booths at restaurants anymore!
~I want to be able to shop for clothing in the normal section, can we say bye-bye plus size sections (eventually!)
~I'd like to be able to wear super cute/hott shoes without my feet being too fat for them.
~Oh... to wear shorts again... Hell, just to be able to find a pair that fits me!
~To gain the pride of knowing that I was capable of losing 130+ lbs!!! That will be an ultimate reward to a smart choice I made in changing my life for the good!
I guess this is all I can think of now, but I'm sure I'll be back to add to it.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
i knew it....
Well... like I said last night, something ALWAYS happens when I fall in love with a listing. First of all the sellers can not do FHA financing because the garage roof is in very poor condition, it's a short sale, so the bank is involved and they won't put any money into it. Secondly, I talked to the mortgage lady... she really is kick ass and so no bull shit kinda woman, she tells you how it is and what needs done to fix it. She denied me on my pre-approval today. My credit score was just shy of the minimum her finance companies will accept. She told me a couple things I could do to fix it and told me to call her back in June and I should be good to go for a mortgage.
On the plus side of things, this will give me at least 3 more months to pay off my unwanted debt, and also give me a chance to save even more money... I figure at the rate I'm going, I might have a house by July... well that is if I find one I like once I'm approved LOL!
On a more positive note, today is Thursday which means weigh in day!!! I was sick all week, did not track, and did not go to the gym. I ate way too much crap and was hoping for a loss, but expecting a gain. Well, to my surprise, I came in with a loss of 3.2 lbs which put me over the 25 lb mark, and only 3.2 lbs away from my 10% goal... I am just so amazed at how WW is changing my life. I never believed that it could work, I thought people were wasting their money, and even after I joined, I was still skeptical. This really really really does work though, I'm just amazed!
On the plus side of things, this will give me at least 3 more months to pay off my unwanted debt, and also give me a chance to save even more money... I figure at the rate I'm going, I might have a house by July... well that is if I find one I like once I'm approved LOL!
On a more positive note, today is Thursday which means weigh in day!!! I was sick all week, did not track, and did not go to the gym. I ate way too much crap and was hoping for a loss, but expecting a gain. Well, to my surprise, I came in with a loss of 3.2 lbs which put me over the 25 lb mark, and only 3.2 lbs away from my 10% goal... I am just so amazed at how WW is changing my life. I never believed that it could work, I thought people were wasting their money, and even after I joined, I was still skeptical. This really really really does work though, I'm just amazed!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
and life goes on...
I just talked about the perfect lil house for me last night. I finally got in touch with my realtor tonight. Unfortunately, it looks like I will not be able to get it. She is putting a call in to see if they will accept my FHA funding instead of the conventional/cash funding they are asking for. I need to call the mortgage company that I have been dealing with tomorrow and see if I can get pre-approved. I'm scared... I guess the waiting game begins. If I can get approved for funding, with or without a co-signer, the bank selling the home agrees to accept FHA, then I will be going to do a showing at the house on Saturday. If not, well...... I don't know. There really isn't an option for me right now. I really am ready to move out, back on my own, but I'm not sure home ownership is going to be the move I make. I'm a little bit bummed tonight.
Now, on to the WLJ part of my life. Since I have been sick this week, I have been chowing down on my comfort foods, pizza and mexican food have been 7 of my meals this week, I haven't eaten any breakfast because of my nausea in the mornings, BUT I can say this, my water in take has been fantastic! I have been so dehydrated with fever that I have been sucking down liquids like crazy. I fell off the wagon this week, I didn't track a single bite of food during my week 11 of WW. I did do a peek at the scale tonight (big no no) but my weight tonight showed a 1 lbs loss. I have hope for my weigh in in the morning. My weight is always less in the morning from the previous night, so I am extremely hopeful that even though I faltered this week that I may still see an average loss for me.
The last 3 weeks of my journey have been very difficult for me. There are days when I just want to give up and say screw it, I'm meant to be fat... Then I get into a kick to where I am soooo motivated its crazy. I haven't been to the gym in a week except to tan. I am hoping that it's not my motivation failing me, but that I'm truly using the "I'm so stuffed up I can't breathe" as a valid excuse.
Right now at this moment, I have this urge to RUN!!! I can not run, I've never been a runner, but I watched this weeks episode of BL and watching Courtney run like she does, knowing what her weight was when she started, and her weight now being close to mine, it just encourages me that I CAN! I hope I keep this thought, but as soon as my head clears up and I can breathe normal, I want to start the C25K. I have the program on my phone so it will tell me when to run and when to walk, but I have this fear in my head that people at the gym will be staring at the fat girl, that they will be making fun of me, that I will fail and everyone will see. I honestly don't know how to change my thought process on this.
I've got such a long way to go, but when I look at where I was almost 3 months ago, I'm doing it, I really am doing it. My weight loss goal is a total of 130lbs, and I'm almost at 25lbs... I will be at that 25lb mark within the next two week, and I will be at 20% of my goal... If I can keep my momentum up, if I can keep my healthy 2lbs/week pace, if I don't cave to my brain telling me I can't... in ONE YEAR just one more year, I will be at goal, I will be running 5k's, I will be healthy, and I will have achieved a weight that I haven't seen since I was a senior in high school.
My brain is so full of mixed emotions right now about everything, I can't tell if I'm being a Debbie Downer, or if I'm truly trying to psyche myself up! I guess only time will tell.
Now, on to the WLJ part of my life. Since I have been sick this week, I have been chowing down on my comfort foods, pizza and mexican food have been 7 of my meals this week, I haven't eaten any breakfast because of my nausea in the mornings, BUT I can say this, my water in take has been fantastic! I have been so dehydrated with fever that I have been sucking down liquids like crazy. I fell off the wagon this week, I didn't track a single bite of food during my week 11 of WW. I did do a peek at the scale tonight (big no no) but my weight tonight showed a 1 lbs loss. I have hope for my weigh in in the morning. My weight is always less in the morning from the previous night, so I am extremely hopeful that even though I faltered this week that I may still see an average loss for me.
The last 3 weeks of my journey have been very difficult for me. There are days when I just want to give up and say screw it, I'm meant to be fat... Then I get into a kick to where I am soooo motivated its crazy. I haven't been to the gym in a week except to tan. I am hoping that it's not my motivation failing me, but that I'm truly using the "I'm so stuffed up I can't breathe" as a valid excuse.
Right now at this moment, I have this urge to RUN!!! I can not run, I've never been a runner, but I watched this weeks episode of BL and watching Courtney run like she does, knowing what her weight was when she started, and her weight now being close to mine, it just encourages me that I CAN! I hope I keep this thought, but as soon as my head clears up and I can breathe normal, I want to start the C25K. I have the program on my phone so it will tell me when to run and when to walk, but I have this fear in my head that people at the gym will be staring at the fat girl, that they will be making fun of me, that I will fail and everyone will see. I honestly don't know how to change my thought process on this.
I've got such a long way to go, but when I look at where I was almost 3 months ago, I'm doing it, I really am doing it. My weight loss goal is a total of 130lbs, and I'm almost at 25lbs... I will be at that 25lb mark within the next two week, and I will be at 20% of my goal... If I can keep my momentum up, if I can keep my healthy 2lbs/week pace, if I don't cave to my brain telling me I can't... in ONE YEAR just one more year, I will be at goal, I will be running 5k's, I will be healthy, and I will have achieved a weight that I haven't seen since I was a senior in high school.
My brain is so full of mixed emotions right now about everything, I can't tell if I'm being a Debbie Downer, or if I'm truly trying to psyche myself up! I guess only time will tell.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
just another day...
What a crappy week so far! I am about over this head cold. I have officially run out of kleenex and have resorted to using a roll of toilet paper instead of going to the store to buy more. Call it lazy if you will LOL, but I already spent plenty of time and money at the grocery store for today.
On a happier note, my realtor has me in the system to send me email notifications of houses being listed or price changes in my area within in my price range. I got an automated email from her today on a house I was looking at last fall which disappeared off the market. I talked to my mom about it and she told me to book a showing!!! I'm not exactly ready to buy at this moment, but if I play my cards right, it just may work out!
In all honesty, I just need out of this house. I am 28 years old and tired of living with my parents. When I moved back in last November, I anticipated 6 months to a year back here before I moved on. I'm at 4 months and I'm really seriously done with it. I need to grow up, I need to quit piggy backing on my parents. They love me and will do anything for me, which is great, but really... it's time for me to be a grown up, to face life head on, to deal with my own mistakes, and quit running back to mom and dad for rescuing all the time.
Ok, so back to the house! Its a CUTE gray/white vinyl sided 1 1/2 story house, it's 2 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths, full basement, formal dining, and laundry on the upper level, so NO walking 2 flights of stairs to the basement to do laundry!!! The people selling it bought it to flip it and ran out of money in the process and can no longer keep up the payments. They have completely redone everything but the kitchen, and the 1/2 bath on the main level (which currently doesn't work at all). The living room has brand new carpet and the formal dining room and 2 bedrooms all have refinished dark stained wood flooring. The master bedroom has a stained glass window. It also has a 2 car detached garage out back off the ally, and a parking slab out front off the main street. It has a nice sized open front porch that would be perfect for a swing, and it has a small enclosed 3 season porch on the rear.
Finances would be cutting it close, but I could always look into renting the spare bedroom to someone, or finally force myself to look for a 2nd job (last resort LOL).
I know I shouldn't get so excited over this, I have an email into my realtor to set up a time to go see it, and with my luck with houses over the last year, something will go wrong and I will not buy it. This is the 5th house I've found that I absolutely could see myself living in, the other 4 just didn't work out for one reason or another.
:) Okies, time to end my rambling and think about bed. Nyquil and Tylenol then BED!!!
On a happier note, my realtor has me in the system to send me email notifications of houses being listed or price changes in my area within in my price range. I got an automated email from her today on a house I was looking at last fall which disappeared off the market. I talked to my mom about it and she told me to book a showing!!! I'm not exactly ready to buy at this moment, but if I play my cards right, it just may work out!
In all honesty, I just need out of this house. I am 28 years old and tired of living with my parents. When I moved back in last November, I anticipated 6 months to a year back here before I moved on. I'm at 4 months and I'm really seriously done with it. I need to grow up, I need to quit piggy backing on my parents. They love me and will do anything for me, which is great, but really... it's time for me to be a grown up, to face life head on, to deal with my own mistakes, and quit running back to mom and dad for rescuing all the time.
Ok, so back to the house! Its a CUTE gray/white vinyl sided 1 1/2 story house, it's 2 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths, full basement, formal dining, and laundry on the upper level, so NO walking 2 flights of stairs to the basement to do laundry!!! The people selling it bought it to flip it and ran out of money in the process and can no longer keep up the payments. They have completely redone everything but the kitchen, and the 1/2 bath on the main level (which currently doesn't work at all). The living room has brand new carpet and the formal dining room and 2 bedrooms all have refinished dark stained wood flooring. The master bedroom has a stained glass window. It also has a 2 car detached garage out back off the ally, and a parking slab out front off the main street. It has a nice sized open front porch that would be perfect for a swing, and it has a small enclosed 3 season porch on the rear.
Finances would be cutting it close, but I could always look into renting the spare bedroom to someone, or finally force myself to look for a 2nd job (last resort LOL).
I know I shouldn't get so excited over this, I have an email into my realtor to set up a time to go see it, and with my luck with houses over the last year, something will go wrong and I will not buy it. This is the 5th house I've found that I absolutely could see myself living in, the other 4 just didn't work out for one reason or another.
:) Okies, time to end my rambling and think about bed. Nyquil and Tylenol then BED!!!
Monday, February 28, 2011
The Ultimate Voyage...
My voyage of self conquest started a couple years ago, but it wasn't until just recently that I discovered exactly what it was I was doing in life. I was leading a very self destructive life for the most part. The sad part was I was mentally trying to make me a better person all while I really wasn't doing anything but telling myself that I was trying. I came across a couple of quotes that helped me to realize my pathetic attempt to better myself.
*Plato, "The first and best victory is to conquer self; to be conquered by self is of all things most shameful and vile.”
and
*Martin Phillips, "The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!"
Since discovering these quotes, I have taken my first baby steps into my Ultimate Voyage to Self Conquest. On December 16, 2010 I made a decision to change my lifestyle. I want to be healthier for so many reasons (list to come on future blog). I knew I couldn't do it alone, so I joined Weight Watchers. I am on my eleventh week on the program, and as of my last weigh in, I was down 22.8lbs.
What are you doing to conquer yourself?
*Plato, "The first and best victory is to conquer self; to be conquered by self is of all things most shameful and vile.”
and
*Martin Phillips, "The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!"
Since discovering these quotes, I have taken my first baby steps into my Ultimate Voyage to Self Conquest. On December 16, 2010 I made a decision to change my lifestyle. I want to be healthier for so many reasons (list to come on future blog). I knew I couldn't do it alone, so I joined Weight Watchers. I am on my eleventh week on the program, and as of my last weigh in, I was down 22.8lbs.
What are you doing to conquer yourself?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)